Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
