There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
