I can tuck mytits in my pants
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
