Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
