Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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