3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's blow job season.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
