Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
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Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
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Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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