I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
