Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
