Having a random hookup so left but love u
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
