I heard we made out
She's JV to your varsity
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
