So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
