I wish i was in the wii world.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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