When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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