So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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