Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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