I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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