I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
