I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
