Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
