i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
