I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
