he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
