can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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