Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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