therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
