dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
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Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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