Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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