Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
