grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
