Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
