addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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