dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
