there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
