I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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