Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
