i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
