It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
