Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
