lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
