Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
