Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
