i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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