your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
