He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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