in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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