dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
