shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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