Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
