I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
