I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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