No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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