I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My vagina is officially offended.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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