I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
