I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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