I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
