You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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