I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
