absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
