Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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