Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
