not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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