Sry I called you an 8
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
