Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
