is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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