i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
